31

My goal in life is to become a Proverbs 31 woman, so I can rest assured that I am doing my best as a wife, mother, and house keeper. I have "mini goals" I add to regularly to try and accomplish this life goal and be remembered by my family in the best way possible.

These goals are based off my understanding of Proverbs 31:10-31..

• become a more understanding wife
• seek faith more often before turning over to emotions
• teach our children the Gospel
• care more about being healthy, exercising, taking care of myself
• serve Jon, family, friends, our children, and neighbors gently
• spend money wisely, seek approval from my husband
• work willingly without any complaints 
• create a warm and loving home atmosphere
• use my time more wisely to complete tasks
• create "beauty" through being classy and modest
• make better use of the hours in each day

..a woman who fears the Lord is to be Praised.. Proverbs 31:30

My Life As A Christian

I am not the kind of Christian I should be. I am not the kind of Christian I WANT to be. Nor am I the wife I would like to be.
Sometimes, when I get frustrated or something goes wrong in our family or home, I don't turn towards Christ first like I should, instead I get mad, upset, and just act childish. But, I am trying to change that. I am trying to become a better Christian, so I can be a better wife.

I didn't grow up in a Christian home, and I didn't really understand how to read the bible, pray, or even know how a Christian should act. I didn't dress or talk modestly, and I found myself in trouble, a lot more than I'd like to admit.
I first started going to youth group with one of my good friends my freshman year of highschool, but youth group didn't really help me understand or come to know the Lord. To me, youth group was always about being with friends and playing games. It wasn't until I met Jonathan that I fully understood how important it is to go to church, understand what it meant to be a Christian, and just let God come first in your life. It was through my husbands family that I learned how important it is to dress modestly, not just because it keeps "guys" from looking at you the wrong way, and assuming the worst about you, but because it shows that you have self respect and confidence. Since I started attending church I have changed in an abundance of ways, I no longer cuss, I dress way differently, and I am so much happier! It's amazing how just accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior can change your life so much!

2 years ago today, I was getting ready to get pictures taken with my "boyfriend" before he left for his first duty station, in Alaska.
I was preparing for a heartbreak. Knowing he would be 3,500 miles away from me for the next 3 years.
I was crying and I was completely clueless on what was about to happen.

2 years ago today, Jonathan proposed to me in the most beautiful way, and in such a beautiful park; and the next day we were married! It all happened so fast, we were only together for shortly over a year when we got married, and I lost alot of friends over it because they believed we were moving too fast, or making a big mistake, or who knows what else.
I never in a million years thought I would be married to my bestfriend, loving his family like they were my own, living in Alaska, or even be a mom! My life has changed in ways I never could imagine, and I wouldn't change it in a million years.

This year we will celebrate a bit different than usual. This year we get the joys of bringing our sweet daughter with us on our date! We might not have the "romantic" date couples usually look foward too, but I know it'll still be wonderful because she is part of us, and she is here because of our love for eachother.

Because of Jonathan, I am a better person, I am happier, and I feel loved for the first time in my life. He shows me everyday how much love he has for our daughter and myself. Seeing him with our daughter, smiling when he looks into her eyes, and hugging her close, makes me know I chose the best guy I could. Although I get annoyed and feel stressed sometimes with his decisions, he always knows how to prove to me that he loves and cares for us. I am so glad our daughter has him as a father, and she will get to grow up with him. Growing up without my dad was one of the hardest things in my life, and still affects me even though I am 20 years old. I can only pray that I will be a strong enough to be the best wife to my husband, and the best mom to my daughter, I want to give her the whole world and show love to her that I didn't feel like I was shown.

Letter To My Sweet Daughter

Dear AnaLynn,

As I sit here on the couch, sipping my iced coffee and I watch you sleep on the couch next to me, I can't help but thank the Lord for giving you to us.
Today, you are exactly one month old, and time flew by! You are doing so much, more than I imagined you would be doing already. You smile and coo, and try talking to your toys when we lay you down on your play mat, you can hold your head up for such a long time, and you try to roll over. You love sleeping on your daddy's chest, and you have such an outgoing strong personality; when you want held or fed, it has to happen right away or else you yell at us, same goes for play time, when you just want to play and stretch, you make sure we know it. We love hearing you yell and talk to us, it is the most precious sounds in the world to me because knowing we almost lost you, every sound you make is a huge reminder that God was looking out for you. I know we may not always get along as you grow older, and we may fight about a lot of things, I want you to know I love you the same, and that will never change.

You are teaching me a whole new idea of patience, understanding, and love, a love I never knew existed. Your daddy and I are so lucky to have you in our lives, and we can't wait to teach you all sorts of new things, and all about Jesus. I am writing this to you, so you can remember a few things that I hope you will never forget, I am positive there will be more things I will want you to remember as you grow but for now, these 6 seem most important..

1. Don't wish to grow up too fast. Enjoy your life, the exciting days, the boring days, and even the days after you have your first heartbreaks. Each day really is a gift from God, and whether it be a good day or a bad day, it's still a day you are alive and healthy.
   
2. Friends come and go. You could have the same friends from childhood up until high school or college, but they could easily become distant memories after you both hit adult-hood. Your dad and I are always here for you when you need us, whether it be to just talk, or gossip, or enjoy time together!
   
3. My love for you will never change, I will never love you less than I did the day before. Nothing you do will ever make me love you less or regret you. You are so special to me, and I will never be able to show you exactly how much my heart beats for you.
   
4. Be confident in yourself. Don't let your dad or I, nor friends define who you are. Your hairstyle, clothing style, and confidence levels are all up to you. I pray you will keep a modest mindset and always be mindful of the Lord when making these choices. We may have a few rules on what is okay or not okay to wear, but we will never force you to wear styles.
   
5. Don't give away your innocence. As awkward as this may be for both of us, we need to talk about this openly and freely and often. Sex is only 'okay' if you are married to the man you are doing it with. Heartbreaks come too easily, and even if you are convinced you will be with a certain boyfriend forever, it isn't always true.
   
6. Always keep an open mindset, when you meet someone always be as kind as you can, on the phone or in person. You never know if that person will be your future spouse, their parent, or even a future manager. The happier you are about life, the happier you really will be. 

I love you more than you understand, but I know you will understand sooner than we both plan for. Once you have children of your own, you will be open to a whole new world of love. But for now, please stay my little girl, and need your mommy, because I need you.

I love you bug,

Mommy.